News for Friday Octopus 29th

Yes, I meant to say OCTOPUS. Hmm, now that I think of it, shouldn’t October be the 8th month? Ah, yes, those Little Caesar guys (Augustus and Julius, the famous brothers who made fairly decent pizza if you feel like that sort of a pizza) messed it all up. Anyways, for next week: Yes, a…

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October 27, 2010

What am I doing? Typing, duh! Oh, okay… projects for applegary currently in the works: 1) You might have noticed that I made Pithy Poems into a separate section instead of keeping them under “Short Shorts.” Wait, that didn’t come out right. Anyways, the poems shall be titled and each have their own post in…

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Tooth And Consequences

 TEETH Isn’t it great we have teeth in our mouth? Without them we’d say words like houth, louth, or spouth. Brushing and brushing them might not be fun, But what if we had no teeth? Not even one? I know one fellow who wouldn’t do well- – The inventor of gum, cause it just wouldn’t…

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Of Nose-Picking

Take Your Pick (seemed right to title this one, but who nose?) Nostril left, or nostril right.. Which shall I clean out tonight? **************** Pickled Peppers’ Perilous Plight Prevented! A peck of pickled peppers, petrified by dread. Propitiously, Peter Piper proceeds to pick his nose instead.

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Viva Las Arby’s!

Up ahead, towering over you and lighting up the sky is a big cowboy hat that would make “Vegas Vic” envious. Is it on Las Vegas’ famous strip? No, it might be from YOUR own hometown! I’m speaking, of course, of an American icon, the old-timey “Big Neon Cowboy Hat” Arby’s sign.  Beginning in 1975, many…

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Let’s Visit Pencil-vania!

“PENCIL-VANIA?!?!” OK, so I got you here under false pretenses. Sorry if I misled you, but you will get the point later on. You might be happy to know, though, that we AREN’T going to visit Pennsylvania! No, we are actually going to visit…. WYTH, VIRGI! No, almost… wait for it… Yes, Wytheville, Virginia. (Pronounced…

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A Kick in the Head

I found this stuck in a folder, originally written in 1986 for my Literature & Composition class. I got an 87% on it, because it was lacking a refrain. Well, I just didn’t see that as working with this story, so forget the grade, I did it my way. Take that. Anyway, I dusted it…

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Sorry, You Are Not a Winner…

Now, I’m not saying you’re a loser. You’re not! It’s just that, well, you’re not a winner… not this time, at least. So, that’s what I had to tell the folks who tried to get the closest to the correct Super Bowl score a while back. Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone could break the…

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October 15, 2010

WHAT is going on NOW? I’m organizizizing, that’s what. (Hmm, no spell check? ha! I can get away with anything, even no capitalizing “HA!” Now it looks like the abbreviation for Hawaii, only it isn’t H-A, is it? But I’m getting off track here.) So, what I’m doing is compiling alllllll the goofy little notes…

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Give Me Job!

Well, as the title makes clear, our monk… that is to say, MAIN character is in need of employment. Let’s see how he does! Author’s Note: Again, we must apologize for the “flingypoop!” This has GOT to stop. Also, apologies to the fine Harris Teeter grocery chain. This in no way implies that you are not…

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