Author Archive
Posted on February 12, 2012 - by Gary Applegary
Intro to “I AM AL’S BODY”
Looking back, there’s been a quite a lot of famous bodies in the past several decades. Looking back at a few…
In 1946, Clarence Oddbody stepped in just in time to save George Bailey, and show him what a Wonderful Life he had.
X marks the spot of where the body of Mr. Boddy was found in the 1949 Parker Brothers game, Clue.
In 1965, Milton Bradley also got in the game, giving us a body to practice our Operation skills on, a Mr. Sam Cavity, whoops, make that Cavity Sam.. BZZZZZT! Hey, he’s got my nose..
Beginning in 1967, J.D. Ratcliff wrote a series of articles for the Reader’s Digest wherein different parts of Joe and Jane’s body speak up and tell their stories. This series was very popular; over seven million reprints of the articles were sold, and the 33 articles were later compliled into a book…
“I AM JOE’S BODY” is the definitive inspiration for “I AM AL’S BODY.” It seems some body parts and conditions have not had their say.. until now. Nerdal Ellington Body (N.E. Body), or Al, as he prefers, has come forward. Follow the series “I AM AL’S BODY to hear from Al’s lymphoma, his dandruff, his nostril hair, and the like. As always, we want to hear your feedback - unless you are Al’s bowels.
Thank you!
G. Applegary
Posted on January 25, 2012 - by Gary Applegary
Zanimal Zoo
Feeling bored? Got nothing to do?
Why not take a trip to the Zanimal Zoo?
All kinds of strange creatures live there,
Like the toeless toad, and the hairless hare.
The zanimals are all ready for show.
Get in your cage and off you go.
The APPLEEATER’S odd looking, I suppose.
Its tail’s not half the length of its nose.
It can reach the fruit at the top of the trees,
Just look out if one starts to sneeze.
No zanimal’s quite as popular as the BANANA EEL.
Everyone just loves it; it really has appeal!
CENTIPOSSUM is quite awesome.
A hundred teeth! Just watch it floss ‘em!
See the befuddled fur-feathered DOGUCK.
He doesn’t know whether to qark or to buck.
The ELETREE is a sight to see!
No branches has he, but trunks, has three!
The FLYING FRONG is chasing flies,
It zaps them with its sticky eyes.
Ever had to go without?
The GORFLER snorts without a snout!
The HOVERHORSE is hard headed, of course.
It thunks into walls, windows, and doors.
The ICE CUB is cool; his fur is like felt.
He stays in cold water so he doesn’t melt.
People crackers make tasty treats
To this JUBBLEJUM with a dozen feets.
Mama KIFFLE has a kite for a tail.
Just see how she and her kiffle kids sail.
Look at that – a LIZARBEE!
Like nothing else you’ll ever see!
Half insect, half reptile.
Watch him chase his tail a while.
MILLIMIRD! She never rests!
A thousand eggs in a hundred nests!
The NUVVERUVVER never ever gets enough.
Two mouths can eat a lot of stuff.
The OORAGNAK hops backwards.
See it? Boing! Boing! Boing!
Good thing it has eyes on the back of its head,
So it can see where it’s going!
Look who’s standing over there!
The fine upstanding PILLAR BEAR!
The QUIPPLE is good to put to use;
You can open cans with its big front tooths!
Next lets stop beside the lake.
Check out the tidy lake RAKESNAKE!
SPACE SMUNKEY seem a little out of place?
Of course! He’d rather be in space!
THUNGS are looking up here – oh my!
They just love staring at the sky.
The UNHUMMINGBIRD never makes a sound,
It’s hard to know when one’s around.
VUMBURGER is always on the run,
Doing its best to stay off of a bun.
WATERWORMS just love the aquarium,
But they’re just as happy if you bury ‘em.
XNARKY doesn’t like company.
His breath is bad – let’s let him be.
YUKYAK is looking for a snack.
He eats anything! Better stand back.
That’s all the ZANIMAL ZOO to show.
Goodbye! Back to Earth you go.
Can’t wait to see this illustrated? Submit your own rendition of any of the Zanimal’s listed and let’s see what we can zoo!
Posted on January 9, 2012 - by Gary Applegary
Heavenly Hash Vs. Rocky Road
What exactly IS the difference? Skip Wikipedia and head straight to www.applegary.com for the answer! We asked the experts, that is, folks that actually MAKE tons of ice cream (not just eat tons of it like somebody here, but we aren’t here to talk about that, are we?)… and we got answers! Spoiler alert: My personal favorite answer came from Breyer’s… the difference between those two flavors is that we make one, but we don’t make the other one anymore. That was easy!
