Archive for January, 2012
Posted on January 25, 2012 - by Gary Applegary
Zanimal Zoo
Feeling bored? Got nothing to do?
Why not take a trip to the Zanimal Zoo?
All kinds of strange creatures live there,
Like the toeless toad, and the hairless hare.
The zanimals are all ready for show.
Get in your cage and off you go.
The APPLEEATER’S odd looking, I suppose.
Its tail’s not half the length of its nose.
It can reach the fruit at the top of the trees,
Just look out if one starts to sneeze.
No zanimal’s quite as popular as the BANANA EEL.
Everyone just loves it; it really has appeal!
CENTIPOSSUM is quite awesome.
A hundred teeth! Just watch it floss ‘em!
See the befuddled fur-feathered DOGUCK.
He doesn’t know whether to qark or to buck.
The ELETREE is a sight to see!
No branches has he, but trunks, has three!
The FLYING FRONG is chasing flies,
It zaps them with its sticky eyes.
Ever had to go without?
The GORFLER snorts without a snout!
The HOVERHORSE is hard headed, of course.
It thunks into walls, windows, and doors.
The ICE CUB is cool; his fur is like felt.
He stays in cold water so he doesn’t melt.
People crackers make tasty treats
To this JUBBLEJUM with a dozen feets.
Mama KIFFLE has a kite for a tail.
Just see how she and her kiffle kids sail.
Look at that – a LIZARBEE!
Like nothing else you’ll ever see!
Half insect, half reptile.
Watch him chase his tail a while.
MILLIMIRD! She never rests!
A thousand eggs in a hundred nests!
The NUVVERUVVER never ever gets enough.
Two mouths can eat a lot of stuff.
The OORAGNAK hops backwards.
See it? Boing! Boing! Boing!
Good thing it has eyes on the back of its head,
So it can see where it’s going!
Look who’s standing over there!
The fine upstanding PILLAR BEAR!
The QUIPPLE is good to put to use;
You can open cans with its big front tooths!
Next lets stop beside the lake.
Check out the tidy lake RAKESNAKE!
SPACE SMUNKEY seem a little out of place?
Of course! He’d rather be in space!
THUNGS are looking up here – oh my!
They just love staring at the sky.
The UNHUMMINGBIRD never makes a sound,
It’s hard to know when one’s around.
VUMBURGER is always on the run,
Doing its best to stay off of a bun.
WATERWORMS just love the aquarium,
But they’re just as happy if you bury ‘em.
XNARKY doesn’t like company.
His breath is bad – let’s let him be.
YUKYAK is looking for a snack.
He eats anything! Better stand back.
That’s all the ZANIMAL ZOO to show.
Goodbye! Back to Earth you go.
Can’t wait to see this illustrated? Submit your own rendition of any of the Zanimal’s listed and let’s see what we can zoo!
Posted on January 9, 2012 - by Gary Applegary
Heavenly Hash Vs. Rocky Road
What exactly IS the difference? Skip Wikipedia and head straight to www.applegary.com for the answer! We asked the experts, that is, folks that actually MAKE tons of ice cream (not just eat tons of it like somebody here, but we aren’t here to talk about that, are we?)… and we got answers! Spoiler alert: My personal favorite answer came from Breyer’s… the difference between those two flavors is that we make one, but we don’t make the other one anymore. That was easy!
Posted on January 1, 2012 - by Gary Applegary
Band on the Ruin
When my watchband went on the fritz, that is to say, started to fray, I turned to the fine folks at Fossil to help me fix the situation.
As you can see, I was in need of a new band. What better to do than to ask…
I received a quite prompt response…. 
And, voila! The band marched into town! Hooray!
Even though it looks simple enough to install, I found that my puny skills were not enough, and a visit to the jeweler will be required to put my new band on my old watch. Wish me well!
G. Applegary
